The End(o) Game

Try and have a baby . . . I dare you. Throughout most of your pre and teen years, people are chock full of warning tales about how having sex, or thinking about having sex, or even thinking about thinking about having sex will result in a screaming baby, no education, and a lifetime of working the McDonald's drive through window.
But here's a dirty little secret: sometimes, no matter how often you are having, or thinking about having sex, the baby part might not enter the equation. And this isn't a big deal, if anything it can be a relief, until the day you wake up and realize you actually DO want a red-faced screamy thing of your own . . .

and that's where our story picks up . . .

about a year ago we decided to stop "not-trying" to have a baby. In other words, we were playing the "let's wait and see what happens game." And for about a year, we barely gave it a thought that nothing was happening. But after we reached the year mark, we took the advice of some friends, who suggested that if nothing happens within a year to "get thee to a doctor", and we pow-wowed with my fabulous Dr who suggested a few fertility tests.

And everything came back a-ok, no biggie, until a certain ultrasound . . .

where my Dr noticed a rather large "cloud" in my right ovary, and there it was- Endometriosis.

Endo-wha? You ask . . .
(gross, right?)

Basically, my lady parts are covered in cysts that make pro-creating rather difficult. They also cause excruciating pain during your menstrual cycle. Which, by the way, was kind of a relief to know that my periods were, actually, gifts from Hades.
For instance, here's me, pre-diagnosis, discussing period pains with girlfriends over wine: "You mean to tell me, that you DON'T need to take horse tranquilizers and go pants-less during your period?! Lucky!!"

So where do we go from here?

Well, there's the rub. In order to "clear me out" and to make sure there's nothing nasty hiding in those endo-cells, I've got to have laparoscopic surgery . . . on Monday.

AND, since those mischievous little cysts have made a cozy home in my right ovary, I might lose the old girl.

So here are the big questions:

1. Am I scared?

Answer: Um, well, I'm not thrilled about having surgery. I worry about anesthesia, complications, losing an ovary, bad biopsy results, and lots of pain. The Dr. won't know how severe my condition is until he gets all up in me- he said it could take anywhere from 40 minutes to 3 hours. eek.

2. Will this cure me?

Answer: Nope. There's no cure for Endo, but getting a good spring cleaning of the lady parts should make periods and pro-creating easier. We won't know what the next step will be fertility-wise until after the Dr. has his little excursion through my belly button.

3. What happens after?

Answer: I'm going to Disney World! No, I'm not. I'll spend a week recovering, wait for the biopsy results, and get back together with my Dr., who I'm getting to know way too well, and see what's next as far as fertility treatments.



So that's where we are right now, folks. And, oh my, am I ever grateful for:

*fantastic healthcare and skilled doctors
*an early diagnosis
*my "once in a lifetime love" of a husband who is so supportive and loving that it makes my bones ache
*family who love me at take care of me- my sweet mama is coming in Sunday to play nursemaid
*friends who laugh, cry, drink wine, and pray with me
*a good God who already knows how the whole shebang plays out and just wants me to rest easy

So thanks for letting me type all of that off my chest, and I hope it wasn't too much like this . . .



At least it's not handwritten, right? And just in case it has been a little too dark and bleh around here today, here's a happy . . .



Harrison: "June, I'm flattered by your attentions but I really do feel that the age and species differences between us are insurmountable."

June: "But that is what I love most about you Harrison; you're consideration and your brilliant mind. I grieve because you let your intellect interfere with the wants of your heart."

Harrison: "You are the most infuriating and head strong woman I know! And that is what I treasure most about you. Yes, you are right, nothing can stop a love of this force."

June: "Oh Harrison! You make me happier than I dreamed possible! Come! Let's go spend daddy's money on new mary janes and krill! O happy, happy day!"