Big Year Big Changes Part II: Saying Goodbye

This is a hard post to write. In fact, it's the reason I've been so absent lately. I knew I needed to write about this, but I've been so sad that I haven't been able to. But here goes . . .

The last week of November, we lost our sweet Walton dog.

And no, it didn't have anything to do with his eye. In fact, he had completely recovered from that and we thought that chapter totally over.

What happened is that we were dog sitting for some friends who were out of town. Every morning and evening I would head over to their townhouse to walk their sweet bulldog Gus, and I would bring Walton so they could play together.

After our walk, I would often leave Walton at their house so the dogs could play together and then come back around 6 or 7 for an evening walk. It was a great arrangement!

The day before our friends were due to come back, I got a call that afternoon from an arson investigator.

There was a fire at the townhouse, and both dogs were dead.

I can't even begin to describe how this hit me. I went into shock. James picked me up and drove over to the wet, smoking remains of the townhouse.

Outside, under a dirty piece of carpet, were two little lifeless lumps.

It seemed like the world suddenly became this gray, small, terrible place, and all I could feel was an ache that started in my heart and went up to the top of my head.

Even worse, our poor friends had to fly home the next day to say goodbye to their sweet dog and start going through their burned house and possessions.

It's now been almost 3 months since the day we lost our Walton, and here are the blessings I've been able to pull out of the tragedy:

1. No people were hurt in the fire and it didn't spread to other homes.

2. The dogs did not suffer. The carbon monoxide would've put them to sleep before they would've known what was going on.

3. The fire was a freak accident, and as guilty as James and I feel about not having saved the dogs, we take comfort in knowing we didn't do anything to have started it.

4. Our sweet friends have been able to move into a beautiful new home and between insurance and restoration, were able to replace most of the items they lost.

5. Our friends and family were so supportive of us. Some friends even donated to have a memorial brick donated in Walton's memory at the SPCA.

Walton was far from perfect. He barked at everything, he never was fully potty trained, he was stubborn and would snap at people sometimes and I'm pretty sure he sometimes peed on our bed out of spite.

But we loved him. He was a sweet, funny boy full of energy. My one regret is that I so often was yelling at him or disciplining him when he was being naughty, which was often!

I wish I spent more time letting him know what a good boy he was, and how much I loved him. He was such a mess, but he was our mess.

There are still times when I miss him so much. I'll find a collar under my car seat, or I'll see a naughty little dog at the park, and all of a sudden the ache to see Walton makes my heart hurt again.

But I am so grateful we had 6 years with him. He was such a unique little guy and it seems everyone has a "Walton story" about some crazy thing he did. I wish our little girl would've gotten to meet him (although I doubt Walton would share that sentiment!).

So precious Walton, wherever you are, and I believe it's in a big green meadow with lots of other dogs to chase, I hope you know we love you and we miss you.

You're a good boy.